Around the time of the pandemic, a self-help book with a somewhat unglamorous but functional title — Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents — took off on social media. In the view of its author, Lindsay C Gibson, these were parents whose own emotional developmental stage was closer to that of, say, a four- or five-year-old.

疫情期间，一本书名朴实却极具实用价值的自助书籍——《被情绪不成熟的父母养大的成年人》——在社交媒体上走红。该书作者琳赛·C·吉布森认为，这类父母自身的情绪发育水平，其实只相当于四五岁的孩子。

Perhaps the most important attitude parents could start with, says Gibson, is the idea that your child is "real inside". "They are sensitive, sentient; they feel things just as acutely as an adult does, " she says. "They don't have the language or the experience to express that, so it's easy to miss."

吉布森表示，父母首先要树立的观念或许是：孩子拥有“真实的内心世界”。“他们心思敏感、拥有感知能力，情绪感受和成年人一样强烈。” 她说道，“但他们缺乏表达内心的语言和经验，所以这份情绪很容易被忽视。”

Children need guidance and limits and their difficult behaviour may be where a parent finds their own emotional maturity tested. "You have an opportunity there to teach and guide them. But if you give them a smack or yell at them just to make the immediate behaviour stop, they feel humiliated."

孩子需要引导和约束，而他们那些令人头疼的行为，也恰恰是对父母自身情绪成熟度的考验。“这正是教育和引导他们的机会。可如果只为立刻制止不当行为就动辄打骂、厉声斥责，那么孩子会感到羞辱。”

"If your child can come back and apologise, they are well on the way toward emotional maturity, because that means they've got self-reflection, empathy, consideration and they're not so threatened and defensive that they aren't able to do this important emotional repair work with you." They will be able to do it with other people later in life.

“如果你的孩子能够回来道歉，就说明他们正一步步走向情绪成熟。因为这意味着他们具备了自我反思、同理心和为他人着想的能力，而且他们不会因为内心不安、心存戒备，而拒绝和你完成重要的情感修复。”这种能力，未来也会帮助他们处理好人际关系。

"History is full of egocentric people who do whatever feels best to them in the moment, to amass as much as they can without regard for anybody else, " she says.

“历史上充满了以自我为中心的人，他们只顾当下一己私欲，一味攫取利益，全然不顾他人感受。”她说。

Gibson is optimistic, though, that a better society, built by more emotionally healthy people, is possible.

不过，吉布森仍乐观地认为，由情绪更加成熟的人所构筑的美好社会，终会到来。